Normally it wouldn't be a big deal really but because of my past I was of course a little stressed after she left. Doug wasn't going to make the appointment (at 3:30) due to a training he was in, and couldn't get out of, but after this he talked to them and was able to get out at 2pm instead of the normal 4pm. And Samantha was so sure the baby was okay... so we decided, because it was so odd that all our friends had plans, that it was Gods will they go with us.
This morning I studied and meditated and came to a place of peace. I didn't want to have fear. I want to have hope. I want to have faith. After so many losses it's hard to hold on to those things.
I have a doppler I got last pregnancy. I didn't want to use it this pregnancy if I could help it. but I felt the need to check just one time before the appointment. And I found a heart beat!!! I was so happy and relieved. But I wasn't 100% sure.
So get to the appointment and meet the midwife. We talk about my history. She examines me. And then does an internal ultrasound. I know Doug is nervous.
And then.......
I know it's hard to tell with that picture but there are two there....
TWO!!!
Twins AGAIN!!!
I wasn't as shocked as she thought I should be. I had a feeling in the beginning but thought I was just projecting the last babies onto this pregnancy so I pushed it out of my mind.
I fully blame Spencer. After the last babies he has been praying ALL THE TIME for... "twin, triplins, singleton, doesn't matter to us". LOL it was so cute but now I'm so thankful there wasn't triplins in there. LOL
Like I said, working hard on my faith and hope. My human nature doesn't want to be hurt again but that's not the right attitude.
Something I read today in my studies....
I'm trying......
2 comments:
Merry - this is amazing! After everything you shared with me last Saturday about your journey, I'm teary eyed with happiness reading this post! Praying for God's will and protection on you and your little ones :)
Always praying for you my Merry!
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