Names

Thanks to my sister I have a name for all my babies. She wrote me a wonderful card and is a wonderful sister. Don't know what I'd do without her.
I felt bad not naming my other two but I didn't know if they were a boy or a girl and I'm already horrible with names.
First I lost Charles Avery March 15th 2011
Then Babie Beloved Sept 12th 2011
Baby Cherished date unknown but sometime in Jan? 2012
And Andrew Avery March 13th 2012
"I want you all to know you were all loved very much and very much wanted. Every single one of you. None more then another. My empty arms ache to hold each and every one of you and I look forward to the day I get to. I'm sorry mommy couldn't protect you and keep you safe. You'll all be in my thoughts until the day I see you."

I'm feeling the anger today. Sad thing about grief is that these things tend to be taken out on the ones around you so I've locked myself in the bedroom or I'll just regret not doing it.
I wanted to be productive today. I've been feeling a strong need to do more around here since it's happened but after being up most of the night with a sick kid I need a nap. My emotions are too much right now... sooo tired....